Out to the Landfill. Click, Click, Click !
The right words at the right time...
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party.
Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol .
He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes,and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him,
all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye ,
staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries
to make you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough,
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough,
there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, 'Son ... what happened last night?'
'Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind .
'Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind .
You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,
and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?
Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean?
I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??'
His son replies,
His son replies,
'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
'Leave me alone, I'm married ! !'
Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.
PRICELESS
Greetings of the Season
| To All My Democratic Friends: Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. |
| To My Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! |
|
via Lynn
|
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